Glory be!
It is that point; a time to unfold the vacation cheer and sing our personal sports activities model of that basic Christmas carol — “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”
Jump in the place you possibly can and sing alongside:
“There’ll be tailgates for internet hosting,
Beating your rival and boasting,
And protecting the unfold!
New coaches are employed,
When will Frost be fired,
Look, Corso simply placed on the Ibis head!
It’s essentially the most fantastic time of the yr!!!”
Finally, in the end, soccer season is right here with a full slate of school soccer video games this week and NFL video games subsequent week.
And which means it’s time as soon as once more for our studio viewers to ask questions and search out the sage recommendation from the “Oracle of Oblong” — higher often known as the proficient, profound, prophetic Professor Pigskin.
Studio Audience: Professor, I hate to start out this off on a unfavorable notice, however didn’t you inform us final yr that the Miami Dolphins have been going to win the Vince Lombardi Trophy and Tua Tagovailoa would outduel Tom Brady within the Super Bowl?
Professor Pigskin: Last yr’s column was hacked! Unfortunately, by the point it was found, it had already been printed within the newspaper and posted on-line. Actually, I picked the Rams to beat the Bengals within the Super Bowl. If you don’t imagine me, simply ask Donald Trump’s election enablers. They’ll vouch for me.
SA: OK, neglect about final yr and let’s discuss this season. What intense rivalry matchup are you most trying ahead?
PP: Oh, that’s straightforward. I can’t wait to see when the Gator Collective goes head-to-head with Miami Hurricanes billionaire booster John Ruiz for Cormani McClain — the uncommitted 5-star cornerback from Lakeland High School. This will likely be an epic battle for NIL (Now It’s Legal) superiority.
SA: Speaking of the Gators and Hurricanes, how do you assume UF’s Billy Napier and UM’s Mario Cristobal will fare of their first seasons at their respective packages?
PP: I feel the Gators will likely be fortunate to win eight video games this yr, however I feel 7-5 is extra doubtless. As for the Hurricanes, be careful! They have among the best quarterbacks within the nation in Tyler Van Dyke, who will lead the 11-win Hurricanes to the ACC Championship in Cristobal’s first season.
SA: What about Florida State and coach Mike Norvell? Will Norvell be fired if he has one other dropping file in his third season?
PP: Florida State remains to be paying off former coach Willie Taggart’s $20 million buyout. Considering the monetary state of FSU’s athletic division and the ACC’s dangerous TV deal, the ‘Noles can’t afford to purchase out the assistant custodian’s contract proper now. I’m not saying FSU is poor, however burglars broke into the athletic division a number of nights in the past and left cash!
SA: So what are you saying, Professor Piggy?
PP: I’m saying, with apologies to Al Davis, Florida State’s mantra this season needs to be, “Just be bowl eligible, baby!” I feel Norvell is an effective coach and can start to make strides this season. I just like the Seminoles to complete 8-4.
SA: What about UCF? Can Ole Miss switch John Rhys Plumlee lead the Knights again to nationwide prominence in coach Gus Malzahn’s second season?
PP: I imagine Plumlee will run for greater than 1,000 yards and account for extra complete yardage this season than former Knights quarterback Dillon Gabriel accounts for at Oklahoma. I feel the Knights will go 11-1 and head into the Big 12 because the American Athletic Conference champions.
SA: Professor Piggy, that’s such a homer prediction! When did you change into such a shill and a lackey for UCF?
PP: As the good Carnac the Magnificent as soon as stated, “May a crazed genie put splinters in your toilet tissue.”
SA: Who will win the faculty soccer nationwide championship this yr?
PP: Remember the place you heard this primary: Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher is not going to solely style candy revenge when he beats Nick Saban through the common season, the Aggies will beat Georgia within the SEC Championship Game and take down Ohio State for the nationwide title. And Texas A&M boosters will have a good time by doubling the salaries, er, NIL funds of your complete roster.
SA: What do you foresee from the Jaguars within the post-Urban Meyer period?
PP: I feel it’s undoubtedly a plus that they’ve a coach in Doug Pederson who will truly fly house with the workforce from street journeys as an alternative of staying on the town to social gathering down with booty-shaking blondes. And, plus, the Jaguars have been so dangerous on offense final yr underneath Meyer, the one approach they may acquire yardage was by working the sport movie in reverse. Pederson will work wonders with Trevor Lawrence and the Jaguars will — await it — go from the worst workforce within the league to finest workforce within the AFC South.
SA: Professor, with all due respect, I feel the physician wants to reduce your dosage of medical marijuana since you’re clearly stoned out of your gourd.
PP: May a diseased yak squat in your scorching tub.
SA: What in regards to the Tampa Bay Bucs and the Miami Dolphins?
PP: It’s been a tumultuous offseason for Tampa Bay with coach Bruce Arians shockingly stepping down and Tom Brady retiring, unretiring after which taking a mysterious 11-day private go away of absence throughout coaching camp. Operating behind a makeshift offensive line, Brady can nonetheless lead the Bucs to a division title within the weak NFC South, however Tampa Bay will fizzle out within the playoffs.
SA: And the Dolphins? With Tyreek Hill at his disposal, is that this the yr Tua emerges as a legit franchise QB?
PP: Yes! Tua lastly has weapons throughout him and an offensive-minded head coach who believes in him. In reality, the Dolphins would have an opportunity to win their division in the event that they weren’t within the AFC East.
SA: I’m assuming you assume the Buffalo Bills are going to win the AFC East?
PP: Not solely are the Bills going to win the AFC East, they may win a franchise-first NFL championship by beating the Minnesota Vikings within the Super Bowl.
SA: Last factor, Professor, will you give us your Rodney Dangerfield public-service announcement as you do yearly?
PP: You guess. This is for all you followers on the market who will likely be attending soccer video games this fall. As you’re tailgating, don’t overindulge, don’t get too intoxicated, don’t drink and drive and don’t be like Rodney Dangerfield, who, earlier than he died, posed for the duvet of the annual Orlando Sentinel soccer preview part.
“I drink way too much,” Rodney as soon as stated. “The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it.”
Email me at [email protected]. Hit me up on Twitter @BianchiWrites and hearken to my Open Mike radio present each weekday from 6 to 9:30 a.m. on FM 96.9, AM 740 and HD 101.1-2
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Source: www.bostonherald.com