It’s Weekend at Brandon’s, once we test in on the current senile babblings of Dementia Joe Biden.
We have quite a lot of poetry and statistics to get to as we speak, however first, a really telling Freudian slip from Friday, when he was chatting with the Canadian Parliament in Ottawa.
All dialogue assured verbatim.
“So today I applaud China for stepping up excuse me I applaud Canada. I’m –” He was briefly sentient sufficient to comprehend that he’d given your entire sport away, so he chuckled, possibly as a result of the MP’s have been additionally hooting it up. Even these woke fools received the gag.
“You can tell what I’m thinking.”
Oh sure we are able to. Whenever Biden checks his financial institution balances, he thinks of… China. As do all the opposite members of his household of multi-millionaire grifters and con males who’ve by no means labored an trustworthy day of their tawdry lives.
Canada has been on his, uh, thoughts, of late, and never simply because he has a son who tried to drink Canada Dry. Here’s one other assertion that he learn off the teleprompter this month:
“We acted in consultation with the Canadian government I spoke personally with Prime Minister Trudeau and Cam from Canada on Saturday.”
Mr. President, does Cam from Canada have a final title?
My favourite soundbite of the month was Joe’s brag about what number of jobs his administration has created. That he then repeats the quantity makes it much more… Brandon-esque.
“All told we’ve created more than 12,000, 12,000 jobs since I took office, nearly 8,000 of them manufacturing jobs.”
He can’t learn the best phrases off his large teleprompter. He confuses “president” and “professor.” The phrase “rampage” turns into “ramp rage.” He mispronounces the primary title of his vice chairman as “Camel-Uh.” He ought to by no means, ever point out the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms – earlier he’s talked about “alcopohol” and this week it was “tabbar.”
On Thursday he was purported to be endorsing some invoice about protecting firearms out of the fingers of “domestic abusers.”
Instead he proclaimed that the laws would hold weapons away from “domestic political advisers.”
He congratulated the feminine star of Seinfeld on her “11 enemies.” Not Emmies, enemies.
Remember his journey final summer time to the Brayton Point energy plant in Somerset? He was carrying sun shades within the blinding solar and appeared much more senile than common. He nonetheless remembers it, at the least as a lot as he can recall something nowadays past the MeTV schedule.
“I was up in um uh Massachusetts one of the largest coal-producing electric facilities in the nation.”
Coal-producing? Who knew? I assume that makes Bristol County the West Virginia of New England! Brandon continued:
“Guess what? We hooked it to wind technology and so now well and it’s cheaper.”
It’s cheaper? Have you seen your electrical payments happening? Can I get me a fact-checker right here?
And that have to be fairly a trick, taking a “coal-producing” facility – in different phrases, an underground mine – and getting wind down there, to not point out the large generators wanted to harness the wind.
Is there something Brandon can’t do? His favourite Lynyrd Skynyrd music is, “They Call Me the Breeze.”
Last week his care-givers had him designate a few new nationwide Native American monuments within the Southwest. One is called Avi Kwa Ame, or as Brandon known as it, “Havana Qua May.”
Another train that Dementia Joe shouldn’t try is poetry-reading. He tried that with the Canadian customary from World War I, “In Flanders Field.” It didn’t go properly.
“And I say I quote it, ‘To you from falling from failing’ excuse me, ‘To you from failing hands we throw the torch….”
But that was a flawless studying in comparison with his recitation of some abysmal doggerel from a homosexual poet. It got here at a commemoration of the signing of the “Affortle Healthcare Act,” which others name the Affordable Care Act. Biden mentioned it had change into legislation “13 days ago.” He meant years.
Then he started to learn this poem, and, to be honest, it makes completely no sense within the authentic. But Brandon rendered it much more absurd.
“A poem: ‘And always one moon like a silent drum tapping at every rooftop and every window on every on every county country – let me start over.”
Brandon mentioned he was “intimidated.” Okay, no matter you say, Mr. President. Take two.
“And always one moon like a silent drum tapping on every rooftop and every window of one country county county….”
Some extra of Brandon’s Greatest Hits, March version:
“Now seniors in district are getting shingle vaxalines vaccines for free now.”
“All kidding aside look we replaced the Refluction the Inflation Reduction Act we passed it.”
“But I make no apologize, I I make no apologies and we will compete.”
“As I made clear in the State of the Union with the presidents of Tyree Nichols as our guests.”
“I met with the IBEW and pointed out we’re going to build 5500 electric charging stations.”
“Five hundred thousand charging stations around the world I mean around the country and ultimately it’s gonna take millions of barrels of oil off the road.”
“New data released today shows that if our plan had been in place in 2021 three point mil – three-point-four million seniors….”
“They’re gonna spend a total of I believe 12 million bucks 13 or I think it is 13 billion billion.”
“We’ll implement further measures to improve our capacity to detect unmanned objectives uh objects in our airspace.”
“Instead we’re working together to end Europe’s dependence on Russell Russian fossil fuels.”
“In January I signed the Electoral Count Reform Act to protect the will of the people and the people transfer uh peaceful transfer of power.”
“I issued a major daster disaster declaration immediately.”
“It’s gonna trange chansportation.”
“Before it was passed 20 fewer 20 million people have fewer people had insurance.”
“And by the way the reason we were able to do all we did and still reduce the debt 1.7 billion dollars trillion dollars is a simple proposition.”
For the document, if Joe Biden have been to, you recognize, retire, he could be succeeded by his vice chairman, Camel-Uh Harris. Compared to her, even in his dotage Dementia Joe is a towering mental powerhouse.
Take it away, Camel-Uh.
“So during Women’s History Month, we celebrate the women who made history throughout history, who saw what could be unburdened by what had been.”
May we quote you on that, Madame Vice President?
Source: www.bostonherald.com”