It’s time for Weekend at Biden’s, the Independence Day version.
Like Sam Cooke, Dementia Joe doesn’t know a lot about historical past, geography, trigonometry, or, as he proved this week on the NATO summit in Madrid, present occasions.
As all the time, all dialogue assured verbatim.
“If you have a seat please sit down,” he mentioned close to the tip. “We can I think all degree this has been an historic NATO summit.”
Yes, we are able to all diploma on that, Brandon. Like Winston Churchill throughout the Battle of Britain, Brandon’s brave phrases will echo endlessly:
“We are gonna stick with Ukraine and all of the alliance are gonna stick with Ukraine as long as it takes to in fact that make sure that they are not defeated by uh by Ukraine. I mean, excuse me, in Ukraine, by Russia.”
It’s tough to recollect who’s attacking whom — one thing else we are able to all diploma on, I’m positive. A few months in the past, in any case, Biden knowledgeable us that Russia was capturing missiles “into Russian cities.”
“And all of this is against the backdrop of our response to NATO’s — to Russia’s aggression.”
Now NATO has determined so as to add extra international locations to the alliance. Biden defined how that occurred.
“(It was) suggested we call the leader of Switzerland.” Pause. “Switzerland. My good, my goodness. Sweden.”
Sweden, Switzerland — hey, who doesn’t get confused when two completely different international locations’ names begin with the identical two letters? Right, Mr. President?
You acquired your Swiss meatballs, your Swedish military knives, William Tell, Volvo, no matter. Brandon, possibly you need to ask your son Hunter if he ever opened a kind of secret Swedish financial institution accounts for the Big Guy.
“The bottom line is this: together the alliance is threatening its posture is dealing with the threats and strengthening our posture against the threats from the East.”
Sometimes Dementia Joe cash what he thinks is a memorable phrase. Remember “Ultra MAGA?” This week he mentioned that Russia was attempting to “Finlandize” NATO — that’s, make western Europe impartial.
Brandon was so happy along with his bon mot that he repeated it many times. Only he saved saying “Findalization.” Once he mentioned “Fiddle-a-zation.”
Last weekend he wished to take credit score for the most recent meaningless “bipartisan” gun laws handed by Congress. So he sat down, in entrance of the cameras, pen in hand, and solemnly learn from his teleprompter:
“I’m not going to sign this bill into law.”
He meant to say “now” as a substitute of “not.” But because the disaster that’s his presidency continues spiraling uncontrolled, Brandon has much less and fewer comprehension of the phrases he’s given to learn.
At some homosexual pleasure occasion, the teleprompter mentioned “lesbian.” He learn “liberation.” At a distinct occasion, the “50 states” got here out as “50 straights.” He talked about talking to varied “Chambers of Comress.” He learn catalyze as “capitalize.”
He vowed that Americans would not be topic to the whims of dictators, solely he learn “winds.” Speaking about gasoline, he demanded that oil firms “decree” their costs. He meant lower.
His caregivers typed in “energy.” Brandon learn it as “industry.” He learn the phrase “consensus” as “consequences.” He was purported to say “collaboration.” It got here out as “coalition.”
He recognized the senator from Minnesota as “Amy Glow-buchar.” He referred to as Kamala Harris’ husband “the First Gentleman.” He once more forgot Barack Obama’s title:
“The vice president has been kind to take on managing this part of the portfolio for me just as I did for when I was vice president for my former president and I but it is it is something that uh I’ve asked her personally to do this but it is my responsibility…”
I feel Brandon was ad-libbing there. Obviously, a affected person in his superior situation turns into much more incoherent when he tries to talk extemporaneously.
That occurred once more on the gun-law signing as he babbled about “members who voted for these families, the families who in fact were victimized by the gun shootings that we’ve seen, these several so I I so incredible to see so much of it of of late…”
May we quote you on that, Mr. President?
More of Brandon’s Greatest Hits, Independence Day version:
“The watershed is not not literally but in fact evaporating in many places.”
“Our communities not just our country down to individual communities the impact that the community has had.”
“I’ve never forgotten not only what you’ve done for me but how importantly it mattered to me and to the country to our country what you’ve done for the country.”
“We will guarantee we’ll immediately lower the average cost of energy cost $500 a year for the average family.”
“An economy where all of us have a fair shot and a chance to earn our place in the economy.”
“The wind that far out in the ocean is always blowing. It’s not like it’s just every once in a while like onshore. … It’s always blowing.”
“Opportunities around the board for across the board.”
“All members of the Congressional Pacific Asian Pacific American Caucus.”
“COVID-19 vaccinations for children uh over 5 years of age finally some peace of mind you know this is uh should I say under 5 years we get ‘em over 5 years 5 months 6 months to 5 years.”
“I met with nearly a dozen large CEO CEO’s of the largest 12 utility companies in America.”
“Under my predecessor the deficit exploded raising rising every single year.”
“It all started with the American Rescue Plan. The law has helped 41 me people, 41 million people put food on their table, remember are trouble putting food on their table.”
“I’m outta here. Thank you very much. Which way am I going?”
Downhill, Mr. President. Almost as quick the nation is.
Source: www.bostonherald.com”