It will not be sufficient to succeed, others should fail.
Which is why I’m so reveling within the agony of the wretched bust-out sports activities discuss station WEEI and the corporate that owns it, Audacy.
I’m not wringing my arms in regards to the nationwide woke overreaction. I simply relish watching the complete firm, particularly in Boston, undergo by the agony of a programming demise spiral, on prime of the continued collapse of their inventory value.
You see, not many individuals know this, however I used to be valedictorian of the first-ever WEEI Diversity University graduating class of 2005.
I used to be working for an additional radio station in the identical cluster, WRKO, and had completely nothing to do with the “METCO gorilla” scandal. But I used to be rounded up as one of many traditional suspects and ordered to attend some lectures about, properly, .
Within half-hour, I had “graduated” – been thrown out, simply as I had deliberate. My telephone saved going off and I might preserve leaving the room with nice fanfare, a lot to the rising anger of the race hustler within the $3,000 go well with who was operating the six-figure grift.
For my disruption of the Rev. Bacon’s white-guilt journey, I used to be suspended for every week with out pay. So I had my union file a grievance with the corporate.
As a part of discovery, I demanded to understand how a lot the corporate – Entercom because it was recognized on the time – had paid in “reparations” to assorted neighborhood advocates, variety coordinators, the reverend clergy and many others.
Entercom couldn’t let these numbers get out.
A day after my suspension ended, the GM got here snarling into my workplace and threw a examine at me – my full pay for what was no longer a suspension, however an additional week of trip.
Which is why I regard myself because the valedictorian of WEEI Diversity University Class of ’05. I graduated early, in document time.
So now we now have one more tempest in a teapot on the World’s Worst Sports Radio Station. This time it entails a pampered puke producer, a Little Richie Rich sort named Chris Curtis, suspended for every week.
He is likewise already a graduate of WEEI Diversity University, Class of ’18. That was the category after any individual used an Asian accent.
As , Curtis went full-‘EEI this week because the morning-zoo jock sniffers have been yapping in regards to the proposal to ban “nip” bottles in Boston.
Curtis mentioned his favourite “nip” was Mina Kimes, an ESPN reporter who isn’t even Japanese. In different phrases, he screwed up the info of the slur, then claimed he had been in actual fact making an attempt to make a sexist moderately than a racist crack, a few Ukrainian named Mila Kunis.
Yesterday morning, he mentioned on air, “That’s not who I am.”
Actually that’s who you might be. You work for Shillville, as I at all times referred to as WEEI. This is who you might be, an ignorant, low-IQ, untalented boob, like everyone else there.
Here’s extra of his groveling apology:
“A pathetic, failed attempt not really that funny, sophomoric and sexist… a slur… stupid, lame attempt at a joke. It was dumb and it was silly, a clumsy attempt to bring humor….”
It gave the impression of an oral historical past of the complete failed station, certainly the complete failed firm.
As you’ll be able to in all probability determine, I despised working there. I attempted to flee to an actual radio firm, however misplaced a court docket case. I used to be pressured to spend seven years in radio hell for the crime of not eager to work for individuals who have been a) horrible human beings and b) completely incompetent.
After I misplaced my court docket case, I did all the things I might to get fired. I brazenly stole stuff – bathroom paper even. I ratted out the opposite hosts to the newspapers. I acquired their mug pictures once they have been arrested (which was usually).
The solely place I prevented was the cafeteria, as a result of two WRKO staff had been convicted of deadly poisonings. Entercom is that sort of firm.
After I started my 2,455-day sentence in radio hell, I saved begging the empty fits to a minimum of put me on FM. In these days, earlier than streaming, apps, social media and many others., it was an actual detriment to be caught on AM, a band fewer than 15% of listeners ever used.
Besides Shillville, Entercom had different beyond-belief-bad stations within the cluster. One performed the worst rock of the final 50 years – WAAF. That was the Beavis & Butthead station. It had rankings decrease than whale excrement. So they purchased a second FM stick for $27 million. The rankings remained in the bathroom.
One day the fits took me out to the Stockyard and requested me what I needed. I mentioned I solely wanted one factor. I requested them to present me one of many WAAF sticks. The bosses have been shocked. We can’t do this, they mentioned.
“Why?” I mentioned. “WAAF has zero ratings with two sticks, you can get no ratings with one stick too.”
WEEI had no competitors till 2008, when CBS determined to place an actual sports activities station on FM, Sports Hub. I figured it will take a yr to knock off WEEI. It solely took six months. Entercom made it even simpler, by eliminating the one first rate present that they had – Callahan and Minihane.
Five years in the past, Entercom purchased CBS Radio. They needed to resolve which stations to divest in Boston. One selection was between Sports Hub and WEEI, which is the radio equal of choosing between the QE2 and the SS Minnow.
Entercom picked WEEI. They additionally had to decide on between WAAF and WZLX. They picked Beavis and Butthead.
Now Entercom inventory is within the tank. Last Friday, at 3:58 p.m., any individual unloaded 7 million shares. The share value fell to $.089.
Entercom – name it Audacy should you like – now has a market capitalization of about $15 million. That averages out to about $50,000 for every of their 230 stations. Put one other approach, the complete firm is value about half of what the corporate as soon as paid for that second stick for the unlistenable WAAF.
Entercom inventory used to promote for about $60. Now it’s a dime. There’s nothing left, nothing. It would take a coronary heart of stone to not snicker.
WEEI is as useless as a doornail. Their meal ticket was at all times the Red Sox. Who watches the Red Sox now on TV, not to mention listens on the radio?
If you’re employed for WEEI, put together on your subsequent profession step, an thrilling future within the hospitality business. That’s the dangerous information.
The excellent news is, a minimum of there isn’t sufficient cash left for Entercom’s empty fits to ship all of you to your personal semester at WEEI Diversity University.
Kids, let me let you know one thing. You didn’t miss a factor.